Pains of chess parents
Being a chess parent is hard work. But it's worth it! I'm not talking about achieving Chess DSA. I'm talking about all the joys we had as chess parents that make this journey so worthwhile. But firstly, let me share about the pains of being a chess parents.
Many chess parents need to go through the pain of bringing their child to a chess tournament. For a rapid tournament, we are looking at a total time taken ranging from 6 hours to 9 hours. Some venues does not has comfortable waiting area for the parents to sit and wait. it's often anxious when our children compete, so it can be quite hard to concentrate on anything. we just kinda stare into the tournament hall or room, hoping to get a glimpse of our child. Many a times, we are too far away to really understand what's going on on the chessboard so we had to settle with observing their posture. Are they sitting confidently, or hunched in self defeat?
And I believe most parents went through this period of emotions that is very similar to stages of grief.
At the start of the tournament, we will be excited and hopeful
After he encountered his first loss, it will be in disbelief and denial (He learns from his coach so much and he lost just like that?!
After he lost in more games, Anger and Depression will seep in (He can't even get into top 10?!)
Then we will reach Acceptance (He still has a lot way to go, just do the best he can, finish up the rest of the games, let's go home and we will learn from his mistakes)
This intense emotional roller coaster ride will be very similar as we progress from non fide rated tournaments, to age group fide rated tournaments, to open fide rated tournaments, to international strong open fide rated tournaments.
If our children are playing in a standard chess tournament, then the schedule we are looking at is 2-3 hours of game preparation before tournament starts, approximately 3.5 hours to 4 hours of chess (As a chess parent, I'll be too anxious and can't really concentrate on anything), Food and a bit of rest after the chess game, 1 hour of chess lesson with coach to analyze the game to fix his mistakes. Rest and prepare for the next day.
As there are 7-9 standard games per tournament, this schedule will repeat for the next 7 to 9 days throughout the tournament.
As chess parents to a young chess player, we also need be physically there at the tournament venue, so that we can support them emotionally if they lost a game etc.
One of the most intense period we experienced is during the 76th National Chess Championship. Javier will have school in the morning from 7.30 am in the morning till 2.40 pm. I'll fetch him from school, on the car ride home, he will be eating a burger. Once he reaches home at 3.15 pm, he will bath and head to sleep immediately. We will wake him up at 6 pm and rush him to the venue by 7 pm, where he will start to compete and play for approximately 4 hours till 11 pm. and he will need to rush home to sleep as he needs to wake up at 6.30 am for school.
On days where he has no major tournaments, I'll sit in with him for his chess lessons so I can better support him, I'll send him to Singapore Chess Federation for lessons and training games. I'll also spending hours working on my own chess so i can better understand his games and better understand his joy and excitement in his games.
Joys of this Journey
In this chess journey, we also make many wonderful friends. It nice to be in a community of chess parents who are very supportive of their children chess progress. We had seen many of the young child players grow physically and in their chess strength to be in Singapore Chess Federation's National Training Program. We travel to many countries because of chess tournament and make a few international friends as well! The furthest country that we went to compete in chess tournament is to Italy for 11 days of chess and 16 days of sightseeing.
Chess parents spend not just a lot of money on their children, but also a lot of personal time to support their children emotionally.
For us, this is only possible because we strive to live a Financial Fulfilling Life. It's not a life of extreme wealth, but a life where we can be assured and joyful and be there for our children.